1. THE HOUR OF THE CALL

  • Ask what the alleged conduct is and what consequence is being considered
  • Ask whether your child has been questioned, and by whom
  • If a school resource officer or any law enforcement officer is involved: "I'd like my child not to be questioned further until I'm present. Please note that I've asked." An SRO is law enforcement, and a discipline matter can become a delinquency case.
  • Ask whether this is a fact-finding meeting or a decision meeting—they are different, and schools frequently hold the second while calling it the first
  • Ask for time if you need it
  • Bring a second adult who takes notes

2. Four documents, before any meeting

  • The district discipline policy—offense definitions · permitted consequences · notice requirements · hearing rights · the appeal deadline · required services during removal
  • Your state's education code discipline provisions
  • Your child's complete education record—request in writing today; ask for it before the hearing
  • The evidence—"May I see the incident report, any written statements, and any video?"

3. THE QUESTION THAT CHANGES THE MOST OUTCOMES

  • "How many days has my child been removed this year—counting partial days, early dismissals, and in-school removals where services weren't provided?"
  • Ask it in writing. Count them yourself on a calendar.
  • Why: for a student with an IEP or 504 plan, removal beyond TEN cumulative school days is a change of placement with additional protections
  • Schools frequently do not track this. One- and two-day suspensions plus early dismissals plus service-free in-school suspension add up faster than anyone is counting.

4. If there is an IEP or a 504 plan

  • Up to ten school days: removal as for any other student
  • Beyond ten cumulative days: a MANIFESTATION DETERMINATION is required. Two questions:
    • Was the conduct caused by, or did it have a direct and substantial relationship to, the disability?
    • Was the conduct the direct result of the school's failure to implement the IEP?
  • If either answer is YES: the conduct is a manifestation, the student generally may not be removed, and the team must conduct an FBA and implement or revise a BIP
  • If both are NO: the student may be disciplined as any other—but must continue to receive educational services
  • Special circumstances (weapons, drugs, serious bodily injury) permit a 45-school-day interim alternative setting regardless of manifestation
  • STAY-PUT: filing for a due process hearing generally keeps the student in the current placement during the dispute

5. Questions for the manifestation meeting

  • "Has a functional behavioral assessment ever been done? May I see it?"
  • "Is the behavior intervention plan being implemented as written? Show me the data."
  • "Which parts of the IEP address this behavior, and were they in place that day?"
  • "Was the teacher trained on the plan?"
  • "How is this behavior different from the behavior the IEP was written to address?"—frequently dispositive

6. If no disability is identified but you suspect one

  • REQUEST AN EVALUATION IN WRITING. TODAY.
  • The discipline protections can reach a student not yet found eligible if the school had knowledge before the conduct—including because a parent expressed concern in writing or requested an evaluation
  • A verbal concern at a conference is hard to prove. An email is not.
  • Also request consideration under Section 504 if IDEA eligibility is not found

7. In the meeting

  • ASK, do not argue
  • What is the conduct, and which policy provision does it violate?
  • What is the evidence?
  • Who else was involved, and what consequence did they receive?
  • How many removal days this year?
  • Is an evaluation pending? Is there a 504 plan or IEP?
  • What alternatives to removal were considered?
  • What educational services during any removal?
  • What is the appeal process and the deadline?
  • Will this appear on the disciplinary record, and can it be expunged?

8. What NOT to do in the meeting

  • Do not sign anything you have not read. A waiver of a hearing is a real waiver.
  • Do not agree to a "voluntary transfer" or "voluntary withdrawal." It frequently forfeits the hearing, the appeal, and the record correction. Schools offer these because they end the matter without process.
  • Do not let your child give a further statement if law enforcement is involved
  • Do not lose your temper—the one thing that reliably makes the outcome worse

9. Same day, after

  • Write down what was said and by whom
  • Ask for the decision in writing, with reasons and the appeal deadline
  • Send a confirming email: "My understanding is that [X]. Please correct me in writing if that's wrong."
  • The sentence that most often improves an outcome: "Before we finalize this—what alternatives to removal has the district considered, and what would it take to keep him in school?"

10. Alternatives to ask for by name

  • Restorative practices—facilitated conversation, agreement about repair, plan forward
  • Functional behavioral assessment and a behavior intervention plan
  • In-school alternatives with actual instruction and services
  • Behavior contract; check-in/check-out
  • Mental health referral—what a substantial share of these matters actually needs
  • Reduced or deferred consequences conditioned on completing something specific
  • Schedule or placement change rather than exclusion
  • A district that refuses to consider an alternative should say so on the record—that refusal is useful on appeal

11. Appealing

  • FIND THE DEADLINE FIRST—commonly five to ten school days
  • Levels: principal → superintendent → school board → state education agency (in many states) → judicial review
  • Grounds that win, in rough order:
    • PROCEDURAL FAILURE—inadequate or late notice · hearing not timely · evidence not disclosed · decision without required findings · manifestation determination never conducted · alternatives never considered where required. Most reliable, because objective.
    • The policy does not cover the conduct
    • The consequence exceeds what the policy permits or what others received
    • Disparate treatment—requires names and dates
    • Disability—the manifestation analysis was wrong or absent
    • The evidence does not support the finding—strongest paired with a procedural failure
  • How to write it: lead with the relief · a heading per ground · quote the policy with its section number · attach the documents · facts flatly, no adjectives · two to three pages · file in writing with proof of the date
  • Ask for two things people forget: return to school pending appeal, and EXPUNGEMENT of the record if you prevail

12. Situations with their own rules

Off-campus speech

  • Ask: "What specific substantial disruption to school operations occurred?" "Students talked about it" is not disruption
  • But threats and serious or severe targeted harassment are a different matter

A phone search

  • Standard is reasonableness—justified at inception and reasonable in scope
  • Object in writing, at the time, to a general rummage based on a minor suspicion

A school resource officer

  • Check whether your state requires parental notification before law enforcement questioning of a minor
  • Teach the sentence in advance: "If the police are asking, I want my parent."
  • Discipline and delinquency proceedings run separately, and statements move between them
  • Get a lawyer for the delinquency case immediately; tell each advocate about the other proceeding
  • Ask about diversion by name, at the first contact

Truancy letters

  • Are the absences about a disability or health condition (an accommodation question)?
  • Homelessness (federal law gives the right to remain in the school of origin, transportation, and immediate enrollment—ask for the district's homeless liaison)?
  • Bullying (a safety problem presenting as attendance)?
  • Caregiving, work, or transportation (frequently addressable by schedule change, credit recovery, or an alternative program)?
  • None of those is truancy

Your child is being bullied

  • Report in writing to a named administrator, with dates and specifics—this creates the actual notice the standard requires
  • Name the protected characteristic if one is involved
  • Ask what the anti-bullying policy requires—investigation timeline, written finding, appeal
  • Ask for interim measures that do NOT disadvantage your child—moving the victim rather than the aggressor is challengeable
  • Escalate: superintendent → board → state education agency → Office for Civil Rights (free, no lawyer, generally within 180 days)

Restraint or seclusion

  • Ask whether it has been used with your child, and how many times—districts do not volunteer this
  • Demand written incident reports for every instance
  • Ask for an FBA—repeated restraint is evidence the plan is not working
  • Complain to the state education agency, the Protection and Advocacy agency, and OCR

13. After the decision

  • Educational services during removal—ask in writing what, when, and by whom. A packet nobody collects is not services.
  • A re-entry meeting before the student returns—what supports, what changes, who is the point of contact
  • The record—request a copy; ask for expungement in writing; if refused, request a hearing; if still refused, place a statement in the file
  • The underlying cause—evaluation or re-evaluation · FBA · mental health referral · the academic picture · what is happening socially

14. Free help, in every state—call BEFORE the meeting

  • The Parent Training and Information Center—federally funded, in every state, free, staffed by people who do this daily, and they will frequently attend the meeting with you
  • The district's parent liaison or ombudsperson
  • Protection and Advocacy agency, for anything disability-related
  • Legal aid and law school clinics
  • The state education agency complaint process
  • The Office for Civil Rights—free, no lawyer, generally within 180 days
  • A private attorney where the stakes justify it—ask about fee shifting, since the special education statute provides attorney's fees to a prevailing parent

Related documents

Educational only, not legal advice. School discipline procedures come primarily from state law and district policy. Get both before the meeting—they are public and they contain rights the school will not volunteer.