Summary. A working kit: petitioner documents from incident log through relief language; a safety plan worksheet, go-bag list, and digital safety audit; enforcement instruments; respondent documents; collateral protection requests; and the primary authorities.

In immediate danger: call 911. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, 24 hours, and by text. Local domestic violence programs provide free advocates who will help complete every document in this toolkit.

SECTION A — PETITIONER DOCUMENTS

A-1. Incident log (one page per incident; complete the same day)

DATE ____________  TIME ____________  LOCATION ____________________

WHAT HAPPENED (what was done, in order; use plain words):
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________

WHAT WAS SAID (exact words, in quotation marks):
  "_________________________________________________________"
  "_________________________________________________________"

PHYSICAL CONTACT
  □ Grabbed  □ Pushed  □ Slapped  □ Punched  □ Kicked
  □ HANDS/LIGATURE ON NECK →  breathing restricted? ____
       vision changes? ____  loss of consciousness? ____
       voice change after? ____  duration? ____
  □ Weapon: __________  □ Threat with weapon: __________
  □ Blocked exit  □ Took phone  □ Took keys  □ Damaged property
  □ Harmed or threatened a pet

INJURIES  ______________________________________________
  Photographed?  □ Day 0  □ Day 2  □ Day 3  □ Day 5
  Medical care?  □ Yes — where: ____________  □ No

CHILDREN PRESENT?  □ Yes — who, and what did they see or hear:
_____________________________________________________________

WITNESSES  Name ____________ Phone ____________
           Name ____________ Phone ____________

REPORTED?  □ Police — report # ____________  officer ____________
           □ Advocate  □ Employer  □ School  □ No one

EVIDENCE SAVED  □ Photos  □ Texts  □ Voicemail EXPORTED
                □ Medical record  □ 911 recording requested

A-2. Evidence inventory

# What Date created Where stored Backed up to safe account? Exhibit #
1 Photographs of neck, days 0/2/3/5
2 ER record with intake narrative
3 Text thread, [date range] — exported
4 Voicemail, [date] — audio file exported
5 Police report #
6 911 recording (requested [date])
7 Photographs of property damage
8 Written log (running)
9 Witness list with contact information

Export voicemails as audio files. Carriers delete them, often within 30 days, and a screenshot of a notification is not the message.

A-3. Petition narrative — weak and strong

WEAK. "He has been abusive throughout our relationship. He has a temper and I am afraid of what he might do. This has been going on for years and it is getting worse. I need protection for myself and my children."

— No dates. No specific acts. No documents. Nothing a judge can make a finding on.

STRONG. "Respondent and I were married on 4 June 2018 and separated on 2 March 2026. We have two children, ages 6 and 9.

On 14 March 2026 at about 10:30 p.m., in the kitchen at [address], Respondent put both hands around my neck and pressed until I could not breathe. I saw spots in my vision. He let go after what I estimate was ten seconds. I could not speak normally for two days. I went to [hospital] on 15 March; the record is attached as Exhibit 2. I photographed my neck on 15, 16, and 18 March; those photographs are Exhibits 1a–1c.

On 2 April 2026 between 11:04 p.m. and 3:12 a.m., Respondent sent me 41 text messages, including at 1:47 a.m.: "you will not get away from me." The thread is Exhibit 3.

On 9 April 2026 at about 5:15 p.m., Respondent was parked in the lot outside my workplace at [address]. My coworker [name, phone] saw him and will testify. I called police; report number [___].

Respondent owns a [firearm description] which he keeps in [location]. On 14 March he said, "I know where it is."

I am afraid Respondent will seriously injure me. I am asking the Court for the relief described below."

A-4. Exhibit index (bring three copies of everything)

EXHIBIT INDEX — [Case No.] — [Petitioner] v. [Respondent]

 1a  Photograph — neck, 15 March 2026
 1b  Photograph — neck, 16 March 2026
 1c  Photograph — neck, 18 March 2026
 2   [Hospital] emergency record, 15 March 2026 (2 pages)
 3   Text message thread, 2 April 2026, 11:04 p.m.–3:12 a.m. (6 pages)
 4   Photograph — damaged door, 2 March 2026
 5   Police report number list (4 reports, 2 March–9 April 2026)
 6   Petitioner's written log, 2 March–20 April 2026 (3 pages)
 7   Lease showing Petitioner as tenant, [address]

TIMELINE (one page, hand up first):
  2 Mar   Separation. Door damaged; photographed (Ex. 4).
 14 Mar   Strangulation incident (Ex. 1a-c, 2).
 15 Mar   Emergency room; report filed.
  2 Apr   41 messages overnight, including threat (Ex. 3).
  9 Apr   Appeared at workplace; witness [name]; report #____.
 20 Apr   Petition filed.

A-5. Relief request language (adapt to your state's form)

1. No contact. Respondent shall not contact Petitioner directly or indirectly, including through any third person, and by any means including in person, telephone, text message, email, letter, social media, any messaging application, or any other electronic means.

2. Stay away. Respondent shall remain at least ______ yards away from Petitioner's person, residence at [address], workplace at [address], vehicle [description, plate], the children's school at [address] and daycare at [address], and any other place Petitioner is present.

3. Residence. Respondent shall vacate and is excluded from the residence at [address], notwithstanding that Respondent is an owner or leaseholder. Petitioner shall have exclusive possession.

4. Children. Petitioner shall have temporary custody of [names]. Respondent shall have [no contact / supervised visitation at ______ / parenting time as follows: ______]. Exchanges shall occur at [supervised exchange center / the ______ police station lobby / through ______], and the parties shall have no direct contact at exchanges.

5. Support. Respondent shall pay $______ per month for the support of the children and $______ for Petitioner, and shall continue to pay [mortgage/rent, utilities, insurance] pending further order.

6. Firearms. The Court finds that Respondent represents a credible threat to the physical safety of Petitioner. Respondent is prohibited from the use, attempted use, or threatened use of physical force against Petitioner. Respondent shall not purchase, possess, or have access to any firearm or ammunition, and shall surrender all firearms and ammunition to [law enforcement agency / a licensed dealer] within ______ hours and file proof of surrender with the Court within ______ days.

7. Property and standby. Petitioner shall have possession of [vehicle, phone, specified items]. A law enforcement officer shall accompany Petitioner to the residence on one occasion to retrieve personal belongings.

8. Animals. Petitioner shall have sole possession of [pet]. Respondent shall not take, harm, or dispose of the animal.

9. No locating. Respondent shall not place any tracking device on Petitioner's person, vehicle, or property, shall not install or use any application to locate Petitioner, and shall not employ any person to locate Petitioner.

10. Restitution. Respondent shall pay $______ for medical expenses, $______ for property damage, $______ for lost wages, and $______ for relocation costs.

11. Program. Respondent shall enroll in and complete a certified batterer intervention program and file proof of completion.

Why paragraph 6 is worded that way. The federal firearms prohibition at 18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(8) attaches only where the order includes a credible-threat finding or the express prohibition on the use, attempted use, or threatened use of physical force. United States v. Rahimi, 602 U.S. 680 (2024) upheld that provision. An order that omits the language may leave the federal prohibition inapplicable.

SECTION B — SAFETY PLANNING

B-1. Safety plan worksheet

WHILE IN THE HOME
  Safest rooms (exit available, no weapons): ____________________
  Rooms to avoid: kitchen, bathroom, garage, any room with weapons
  Code word meaning "call the police now": ______________________
    Shared with: ______________  ______________
  Old phone charged and hidden (dials 911 without service): □
  Children know: 911 · the address · DO NOT INTERVENE: □
  Exits from each floor: ________________________________________

WHERE TO GO
  Option 1: ____________________  Phone: ______________
  Option 2: ____________________  Phone: ______________
  Shelter (advocate can arrange): ______________________________

LEAVING  ⚠ SEPARATION IS THE HIGHEST-RISK PERIOD — plan with an advocate
  Best time (when they are predictably away): ____________________
  Who will be with me: __________________________________________
  Order filed before / at the same time as leaving?  □
  Transportation: _______________________________________________

AFTER LEAVING
  □ Locks changed; door bar or secondary lock added
  □ Workplace notified: photograph + copy of order to security
  □ Parking and arrival routine changed
  □ School/daycare notified; pickup list updated; order on file
  □ Routes and schedule varied
  □ Neighbors asked to CALL POLICE, not confront
  □ Camera at entrance
  □ Address confidentiality program enrollment

B-2. Go-bag

Keep where you can reach it quickly and they cannot: car trunk,
a neighbor's, a locker at work, an advocate's office.

DOCUMENTS (originals or copies)
  □ ID / driver's license — you and the children
  □ Birth certificates
  □ Social Security cards
  □ Immigration documents (green card, visa, work permit, passport)
  □ Insurance cards (health, auto, home)
  □ THE PROTECTIVE ORDER — certified copy
  □ Lease or deed · vehicle title · recent bank statements
  □ Custody or divorce orders
  □ Medical records; children's immunization records
  □ School records

PRACTICAL
  □ Medications and current prescriptions (you and children)
  □ Spare keys — house, car, safe deposit box
  □ Cash (small bills) and a card on an account they cannot see
  □ Change of clothes for each person
  □ Phone charger and a spare charged power bank
  □ PHONE NUMBERS ON PAPER — a phone can be taken
  □ Comfort item for each child
  □ Glasses, hearing aids, medical devices

B-3. Digital safety audit

□ USE A DIFFERENT DEVICE for anything related to leaving
□ DO NOT remove monitoring software before it is documented
□ Vehicle checked for a GPS tracker (wheel wells, under seats,
  OBD port, trunk, roof)
□ Passwords changed FROM A SAFE DEVICE — email first, then
  everything that resets through email
□ Two-factor authentication enabled; recovery numbers/emails
  changed to ones they do not control
□ Location sharing OFF: phone OS, Find My, Google, social media
□ Photo geotagging disabled
□ Shared accounts left: cellular family plan, cloud storage,
  streaming, ride-share, food delivery, banking
□ Smart-home access reviewed and revoked: thermostat, cameras,
  doorbell, speakers, vehicle app, garage door
□ Social media: privacy settings, location tags removed, check-ins
  off, friends list reviewed, children's accounts reviewed
□ New email address for the case only
□ Consider a new phone number and a new device
□ Check for a phone plan account where they are the account holder —
  they can see your call and text records

SECTION C — ENFORCEMENT

C-1. Violation report form (keep a running list)

# Date/time Type (contact · third party · appearance · social media · tracking) What happened Evidence saved Reported to Report # Response
1
2

Report every violation, in writing, every time — including the ones that feel too small. The eleventh report is treated differently from the first, and the difference is made by the ten before it.

C-2. Motion for contempt — outline

1. On [date] this Court entered a Protective Order requiring
   Respondent to [quote the paragraph exactly].
2. Respondent was served on [date] / was present in court.
3. Respondent violated the Order as follows:
   | # | Date/time | Provision violated | What occurred | Exhibit |
   |---|-----------|--------------------|---------------|---------|
4. Each violation was reported to [agency], report numbers [___].
5. Respondent's conduct was willful; Respondent had knowledge of
   the Order and the ability to comply.
6. Petitioner requests: a finding of contempt · sanctions ·
   incarceration with purge conditions · extension of the Order ·
   attorney's fees and costs · [additional relief: expanded stay-away
   distance, GPS monitoring where authorized, surrender verification].

Exhibits: the Order · proof of service · each violation with metadata ·
police reports · witness declarations.

C-3. Motion to renew — outline

1. The Protective Order entered [date] expires [date].
2. Petitioner remains in reasonable fear of future harm because:
   [ongoing proximity · violations during the term · statements ·
   respondent's release from custody · resumption of contact
   attempts · no completion of ordered program].
3. [Where applicable] Respondent violated the Order on [dates],
   as set out in Exhibit __.
4. Most states do NOT require proof of a new act of violence to
   renew — a reasonable fear of future harm suffices. [Cite your
   statute.]
5. Petitioner requests renewal for [term / permanently], on the
   same terms, with the following additions: ______________.

⚠ FILE 60–90 DAYS BEFORE EXPIRATION. An expired order generally
  cannot be revived; a new petition starts over.

C-4. Interstate enforcement checklist

□ Certified copies carried — an officer at 2 a.m. acts on the seal
□ Voluntary registration in the new state (free; not required for
  enforcement, but puts the order in the databases dispatchers query)
□ Local law enforcement visited with a copy; ask how they handle
  out-of-state orders
□ New schools, daycare, and workplace given a copy
□ New state's address confidentiality program joined
□ 18 U.S.C. § 2265 cited if an agency is unfamiliar: every state,
  tribe, and territory must enforce a valid order from another
  WITHOUT re-litigation and WITHOUT any registration requirement
□ Federal crimes considered where someone follows you across a
  state line: 18 U.S.C. §§ 2261, 2262 — contact the U.S. Attorney
  or FBI where local authorities decline
⚠ MOVING WITH CHILDREN implicates the UCCJEA and any relocation
  provision. Talk to counsel BEFORE going.

SECTION D — RESPONDENT DOCUMENTS

D-1. Compliance memorandum (for your own file, from day one)

ORDER SERVED ON: ____________ at ____________
HEARING DATE: ____________

ABSOLUTE RULES — no exceptions, no matter how reasonable it seems
  ✗ No contact. Not to apologize, explain, discuss the children,
    or ask for withdrawal.
  ✗ No contact through anyone else — friend, relative, coworker.
  ✗ No social media posts referring to Petitioner, however indirect.
  ✗ No driving past the residence, workplace, or school.
  ✗ No third party sent to "just check."

DONE BY DEADLINE
  □ Vacated the residence on ____________
  □ Firearms surrendered to ____________ on ____________
      Written proof obtained □   Proof FILED with the court □
  □ Civil standby arranged for belongings: ____________
  □ Counsel retained: ____________
  □ Criminal counsel consulted before deciding whether to testify □

WHY THIS MATTERS: More respondents lose at the hearing on
conduct occurring AFTER the ex parte order than on the
allegations in the petition.

D-2. Defense preparation checklist

□ COMPLETE message threads (not excerpts — context matters)
□ Call logs
□ Location data (phone, vehicle, transit, toll, badge-in records)
□ Work records for the dates alleged
□ Financial records where money is alleged as control
□ Photographs
□ Witnesses who observed the relationship or the incidents
□ Own timeline with a document supporting each entry

ELEMENTS ANALYSIS
  □ Does the relationship qualify under the statute?
  □ Does the alleged conduct meet the statutory definition?
  □ What evidence supports each allegation?
  □ Lawful explanation? Self-defense? Mutual conduct?

CROSS-PETITION — decide carefully
  Mutual orders are disfavored, restricted in many states absent
  separate findings, complicate enforcement, and can cost firearms
  rights and 18 U.S.C. § 2265 portability. File only if true.

AGREED ORDER — understand first
  □ Firearms prohibition  □ Custody effect  □ Employment
  □ Professional license  □ Immigration  □ Findings included?

SECTION E — COLLATERAL PROTECTION REQUESTS

E-1. Employer notification letter

Confidential — to [HR Director / Security Manager]

I am providing notice that I have obtained a protective order against [name], a copy of which is enclosed, together with a photograph. The order requires that person to remain at least ______ yards from my workplace.

I request the following:

  1. That security and reception be provided with the order and the photograph, and be instructed to call 911 if that person appears.
  2. That my parking be relocated to [location] and that I be escorted to my vehicle after [time].
  3. That calls from [numbers] not be transferred to me and that I be notified of any such call.
  4. That my work location, schedule, and contact information not be disclosed to anyone.
  5. That my extension be changed and my name removed from the public directory.
  6. Leave under [state statute / policy] for court appearances on [dates].

I am requesting that this information be kept confidential and shared only as necessary for my safety.

E-2. Housing requests

Lock change and lease termination (state statute). Pursuant to [statute], I am providing documentation of my status as a victim of domestic violence and requesting (a) that the locks be changed within [__] hours at [my expense / your expense per the statute]; and (b) that my tenancy be terminated effective [date] without penalty, with the return of my security deposit in accordance with [deposit statute].

Covered housing — emergency transfer or bifurcation (VAWA). I am a victim of domestic violence as defined by the Violence Against Women Act and am requesting (a) an emergency transfer under your emergency transfer plan; and, in the alternative, (b) bifurcation of the lease to remove [name] while my tenancy continues. I am submitting the required certification form. I understand that I may not be denied assistance, terminated, or evicted on the basis of being a victim.

E-3. Immigration and compensation

IMMIGRATION — none require the abuser's participation or knowledge
  □ VAWA self-petition — spouse, child, or parent of a U.S. citizen
    or LPR abuser; filed independently
  □ U visa — victim of a qualifying crime who assists law
    enforcement; requires a CERTIFICATION from an agency
  □ T visa — trafficking victims
  ⚠ CONSULT IMMIGRATION COUNSEL OR AN ACCREDITED REPRESENTATIVE
    BEFORE FILING ANYTHING — the sequence matters.

CRIME VICTIM COMPENSATION (every state)
  Covers: medical · mental health counseling · lost wages ·
  relocation · funeral expenses
  □ Police report filed (usually required)
  □ Application filed within the state deadline
  □ Receipts and records retained

SECTION F — PRIMARY AUTHORITY

Related documents

This toolkit is educational and not legal advice, and it is not a safety plan. Every form must be adapted to state law; definitions, procedures, and available relief vary substantially. Work with a local domestic violence program. If you are in immediate danger, call 911; the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.